This is a story about my journey towards doing the work, but this time, the “body work”.
I made my way to running for the first time after a long time the other day. Running? Yes, I do organized running. I’m a part of a crew of people (@theninefour) who meet twice a week, sometimes more, to run. It’s been just the thing I needed after a 10-year break from any-and-all physical activity (Shock! Horror!). I’ve learned to just run. I don’t profess to enjoy it much, but I run.
Anyway. Let me not get side-tracked. Where were we? Oh, yes! I made my way to running for the first time after a long break (resting to nurse injury and a period of fasting with my local church).
On the way back from our 5km time trial, my friend, Kate Dales, ran up to me and said, “So, how’s that shoot you did?! One bikini? Haha, how amazing is it that you took last year to do all of the bodywork, and then something like this happens? It’s as if the universe was talking to you, rewarding you, testing you.”
Someone got it! I DID THE ‘FREAKING’ WORK.
THE PROCESS
Let me explain.
Kate is a model. She’s also the super badass founder of RUNCULT and SANIC. I’ve BEEN chatting to her about how I felt about my body. Insecure. Not confident about wearing a swimsuit to the beach. All of this for years. I didn’t see myself as beautiful. Even though people always told me I was. Me? No. There are so many other girls. She understood and listened to me.
I’ve also BEEN telling her about the work I’ve been doing to change this. I re-signed to my modeling agency. I’ve been exercising (not to look a certain way, but to balance these emotions the heck outtttttt!) and it turns out, I feel great! I’ve changed my diet slightly. I’ve been practicing healthy thoughts – looking in the mirror (something I never ever did) and telling myself I’m hot. I’ve been buying swimsuits and I’ve been wearing them – at the BEACH! I even posted a picture or two of myself in a swimsuit on social media.
The old me would freeze in horror…
“What will they think about that roll on my stomach?”
“What will they think about my dimpled thighs?”
“What will they think about my bushy hair that can’t be controlled when wet?”
“What will they think about my flat bum?”
“I hate how my knees knock”
“I feel self-conscious about my underarm and bikini line pigmentation”
I’VE BEEN DOING HARD WORK PEOPLE. Hard work.
Listen, I understand that life isn’t not all about the looks, but, in this case, for me – it was. I grew up in an amazing faith-filled home that focused on good character, integrity and investing in your gifts to become a well-rounded person. My parents did a great job of rearing me, and, very humbly, I’d like to declare that I’m not short of depth. But, I still needed to do work on how I viewed myself after countless rejections – another story, for another day, boo!
THEY CALLED, I ANSWERED…
So… when my agency called saying that a client loved me, wanted to book me for a TVC shoot, and wanted to know whether I was comfortable wearing a bikini for a scene, I decided to say yes. Why? Because this is what I was doing the work for. Now for the test!
It’s funny because I arrived on set, only to be told that I was only filming one scene – and only had one bikini to wear. LMAO — GOD, you’re funny!
“Would you change into it now for the client to have a look?” Yes, stylist. I will do that with pleasure.
Back to the running…
“It’s so amazing, that you’ve been doing the work and now look!”
“Yes, I’ve been doing the work,” I shouted to Kate as we ran side-by-side.
I’VE BEEN DOING THE FREAKING WORK!
YOU’VE GOT TO DO THE WORK. You can’t expect or long for life to be different if you aren’t willing to embrace the uncomfortable stretching that takes place when you do the work. You have to build new habits and shed some old ones that aren’t ‘serving you’ – i.e. sorry to say, but eating that burger at 10 pm isn’t serving you, babe.
I will speak more on this and what I’ve been doing to get into a healthy thought and emotional space (it’s a loaded subject).
But until then — love,
Eden Myrrh
#TheGoodSis
